Monday 12 January 2015

REALITY TV: Kids Today are F*CKED

I'll admit, I enjoy watching Reality TV. Why? It's comforting. It's satisfying to know that whatever went on in the year - towards the end of it we'll be bombarded with a troop load of new 'talent' on the X Factor who will disappear into obscurity as soon as become temporary household names. Every week on the Live Shows we will see a theme that we saw the year before ('80's night, Michael Jackson Night, fucking BIG BAND night) and EVERY year we'll say to our friends "euuumeerrgawwd it's exactly the same as last year" but you know what - we keep watching? But why? I think it's because as the slightly older viewer we feel we know better.  We know that TV is shit and we just deal with it. "It wasn't always this shit", we think. We remember a life before Reality TV became such a big fat flabby mess (like Gemma Collins).

Nowadays there's one additional reason to watch SHITE TV. Twitter. Live updates on Twitter. In some kind of 'join in or fuck off' mentality every time a mainstream reality TV show is airing your timeline will be littered with UTTER CRAP from everyone as they comment on every single thing that is happening - as it happens. To not watch is the equivalent of being that sad twat at the party who is 'too cool' to dance to pop music and would rather sit in a corner of the room wearing all black and not talking to anyone or having any fun.  Whilst I'm on the subject, to all of those music snobs who do that; next time - just don't show up to the party, ok? No one cares that you don't like it! I'll also bet that most people who are dancing to the music don't really like it much either they're just trying to get involved, or get laid or get over themselves. Nothing is funnier than watching one of these outcasts FINALLY hear a song they like and rush to the floor to head bang (primarily making them look like they are trying to suck themselves off but not quite making it). Please stop, please.

Now, before I wonder so musically off topic the reason for this post is this - I was chatting to my nephew the other day and I asked him if he could remember a time BEFORE this huge influx of Reality TV:

  • Before people got famous just for not killing their pathetic, self-indulged & borderline mental housemates (Big Brother)
  • Before bewildered people got screen time for being so crap at singing they make a panel of millionaire's laugh (The X Factor)
  • Before disgusting roidy Geordie boys fucked messy, pissy, shitty Geordie-girls in front of the camera before shitting the bed (Geordie Shore)
  • Before 'celebrities' both past/bewildered and present/pointless licked kangaroo's anus out of sheer desperation (I'm A Celebrity)
  • Before that fat CUNT Gemma Collins was considered famous and not just a blob you'd judge at the supermarket or read about in 'Love It' magazine (TOWIE) 

 I think my nephew remembered life before Geordie Shore (thank god) but as for the rest of it - his entire upbringing has had Reality TV shoved in his face.  This is a very sad, sorry, state of affairs right? This kid does not remember a time before people decided that they could become famous 'just for being on the tele'. That happens now! We get all of these pointless arseholes like Jake Quickenden thrown in front of us because they've got abs and a nice arse. They have no other discernible talent to be seen, least of all singing.  I bet that little prick is never going to have a proper job in his life!

This doesn't teach our young, impressionable kids anything decent. This teaches them that they can get whatever they want in life and be "FAMOUS" just by appearing on a Reality TV Show.

I see the same thing when I look at those horrendous sad trolls that line up every Saturday Night for Take Me Out.  30 (?) women who all look like the back of a bus (apart from a few who leave as soon as they arrive) giggle and gawk at a range of different men... all the while thinking 'I'm on TV, I've MADE IT' and probably wondering how many Twitter followers they've amassed by saying that they "don't DO the gym" in a sassy voice for attention.  JUST FUCK OFF. FUCK OFF BACK TO WHATEVER HOLE YOU CAME FROM. YOU SHOULDN'T BE ON TV. YOU SHOULD BE IN A WETHERSPOONS.

The ONLY time I've ever felt like the kids of today (or tomorrow) have had ANY decent role models was during our London Olympics. Successful, athletic, driven, brilliant people who are achieving greatness through hard work and endurance.

No one is a good role model anymore - myself included.

So I'm sorry kids of tomorrow - we've totally fucked things up for you. No wonder you're all a snotty, shitty, stubborn, spoilt set of twats and sluts.