ATTACK OF THE Z-LISTERS

Right, ok, we get it – you’re living the dream. You’ve got:
1) a nice car
2) a bang-able girlfriend (or boyfriend)
3) lots of money
4) a decent apartment / house
AND to top it all off, you’ve got all that for doing basically sweet fuck-all apart from being in a semi-scripted “reality” show about your life. To be honest: I’d be loving it too. I’d be enjoying all the fans who like me for no reason (often despite of major character flaws such as: being unfaithful or just generally being a cunt). But what I DO NOT understand is that despite CHOOSING to be on a show format that practically begs for ridicule: you STILL feel the need to retaliate to all the sad little twats that chose to berate you on twitter. JUST IGNORE THEM. Everyone has their hate mail, even I do with my 3,700 odd followers* so I can’t imagine how much CRAP you have to sift through...

*My favourite insult from a reader once was:
Annie_Chan5: “Says more about you than the show: "Exactly the kind of gay guy I feel uncomfortable around" and insulting the appearance of a baby. Keep classing it up.” (referring to my blog about the terrifying elderly women from Sex & The City)

However, some of the responses that you give to these kids (some no older than about 13) are EMBARRASSING. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Even the supposedly nice ones of you have a mouth on you. If some little kid tells you you’re ugly or stupid or boring: just leave it. Ignore them. It's the only way

 

Greg Lake: "@cheetah560:You were the most boring person on tv since Peter Ebdon #snooker” and ur the ugliest guy I’ve seen on twitter

Yeh nice one Greg*  I looked at the avi of the person you said that to (as did tonnes of other people, I'm sure..) and it wasnt even clear which of the three boys in the avi had written to you. Granted they were all pretty ropey but my point is: all of the 3 boys looked under 16. That's not cool... Just rise above it. Don't stoop to their level. Also fuck me, if THEY were the ugliest people you've ever seen on twitter then you've had a very easy ride..
*For those of you who don't know of him, Greg was on the 1st series of Geordie Shore - our English version of the skanky Jersey Shore

Mario & Lucy from The Only Way Is Essex last night started trying to take the piss out of this guy: insulting his girlfriend and berating him for having only 77 followers (I think since the incident he's gained a few more). Now I have no idea how old that guy was. I dont really care either. I care that two (all be it beautiful) arseholes decided to retaliate over a comment about Mario's nose. (I'll ignore the fact that I can't see anything wrong with Mario's nose.)

Mario Falcone:  @Lucy_Meck @iamdortamartin watch out he has 77 followers '#army

I genuinely wonder sometimes how many followers some of these stupid fucks would have if they weren't on a reality tv show!? It's hardly as if they are particularly interesting to follow. They mainly just spaff on about where they've just been/ what free gift they've received from a desperate company or when their filming's about to start / stop or take a 5 minute break. My point basically is: yes so that kid doesn't have many followers - but he hasn't been on tv. It seems like that's literally all it takes.  Commenting on follow count is a cheap shot and it's hardly funny.. still didn't stop it getting 50+ retweets from all the arse-sucking fan beggars out there who are the same type of people that 'beg' for an RT because they 'love them sooo much'. FUCK OFF. Get a FUCKING life!? are you SERIOUS? Let me tell you, you sad little shits, these people you're begging for an RT wouldn't piss on fire to put you out. They'd walk away................and probably tweet about it.

Jaiden Michael: "@melovesmariah: @jaidenofficial "are you still clinging onto that 15 minutes since Scousewives?" U still clinging onto that 15stone of fat?

VERY GOOD JAIDEN! Oh no wait.. no it's not seeing as it doesn't make any FUCKING sense... @melovesmariah is a skinny guy and YOU are a fat shit who thinks it's clever to retort to people when there's absolutely no need.

Yes, before you say it - I know I'm being a bit of a cunt myself. But my point is this.. I'm not famous. I'm under zero obligation not to be a cunt. I don't have young fans or followers. I'd never be considered a role model for anyone (not that these people should, either)...

I think it should be inforced that if you're famous (however unnecessarily) - it should be your duty to block rather than retaliate to people who give you grief on twitter: especially if they're young. Calling someone ugly, insulting their popularity or telling them they're fat are stupid low-blows that you should have the sense to rise above. Now go on, shoo... fuck off back onto our TVs so we can laugh more at how empty & hollow your lives are. Continue to talk about dresses/fake tan/nights out/ vouchers/gifts & how long or hard your day was... and we'll all just carry on pretending like we dont just watch you to make sure we can laugh every time you fuck up royally on tv infront of a large audience.....

All The Best,
A Nobody.