Well despite my pleas & protests to get rid of the rank trolls that hog up too much screen time - This time they're WALKING their DOGS in a PRAM - what the FUCK was that?! Is this some secret governmental push so that chav girls have little dogs to push instead of young children? They both irritate me so much. I don't think they've ever said something significant or funny. the little dogs are rank but it's the girls that need to be put down...
THEN they get even more screen time by trying to console Lucy Slut-bag after she's been nosing in Mario's iPad... I think I'd rather rip my own eyes out then have to look at their moon crater faces on my tv any longer... Speaking of them trying to comfort Lucy - I feel like the new pussy way for these idiots to own up to something indirectly is just to tell it to someone else on camera and then a couple of days later when the show is released the person will find out. What's the point? So Cara (I think it's Cara.. the darker munter) says that Mario's been texting her? Well then tell your mate straight away (you know, your "mate" that's sitting on your sofa with a make-up team on standby to dose her eyes with a pipette of water so it looks like she's been crying). You're only going to look like a knob in the end anyway Cara. You dog.
I'd say this episode was very Lucy & Mario orientated. This is possibly a reason why I didn't like it that much. Lucy looks like a chipmunk when she cries. Can I draw attention to the worst bit when Mario "tries to get into his locked from door" even though it's swinging open at one point. Luckily, previously in the episode Mario had logged onto www.rent-an-average-italian.com and ordered a standard Italian man who could pretend to be his dad and asked for '1 x Set of Typical Phrases About Ditching a Slutty Girlfriend'. FUCK OFF MARIO. If you feel hard done by, sack up and move on. Don't torture the girl - there's no point. Just ditch the bitch & go find any of the other 40 girls that you've been emailing. (who has the time to do that?)
Meanwhile, Billie & Sam have the lamest argument I've ever seen. It's as if someone commented that they always seem like they get along so they force a fake argument out of nothing. Sam doesn't look fit when she's cross. They should keep her happy. I thought she left the show anyway? (I would've)
On a more obviously real argument - Lauren wins (in my opinion) an argument with Arg where he seems like a needy idiot. (who'd have thought it'd be that way round). Arg, You're fucking annoying. Put down the fork and hit the gym. I don't understand why you even like Lydia. I mean yes, ok, she's the fittest girl you'll ever get when you're that round but all she does is talk about herself and she moves her mouth a funny way when she's doing it...
Meanwhile again, Gemma the fat mess tries her hand at spirituality. Don't be such a knob. Stop trying to scrape a storyline. Try and get with Mick. It's never going to happen but at least it's a legitimate reason to stay in the show.. Speaking of.. Why is Kirks dad still there? Surely they could've played poker somewhere else... That poker night seemed to exist for the sole reason that they can 'cleverly' talk about how Mario is a 'cheat'. Good one ITV2. Good one.
I'm fairly sure they didn't play one actual game. They just set up for Mario to react like a chauvinistic prick (as if we don't see that enough)
In closing I'd like to ask... who the fuck is that Mark look-a-like on all the adverts? You know, the rubbish looking one? I'm secretly hoping they'll cut him out of every show. He looks like someone I'd have laughed at at school...
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